Christmas Eve

It's been a long hard fall. Starting with Father's death; then, when I got home classes to attend, papers to write while catching up on the ones that I missed. Since the beginning of October, practice nursing on the anesthesia unit in Elverum, all the while working half-time. It was tough, worse than in the spring. In the course of the 10 weeks I had the swine flu (H1N1), a multiple choice anesthesiology exam as well as preparing for the home exam in anesthesia nursing. At the evaluation my teacher and nurse mentor strongly recommended that I put my books away and rest up during the Christmas break. I was exhausted by then, and it was affecting my performance.

Immediately following the period of practice nursing came the home exam. We were given the exam-text at 9 am on Monday morning and had to hand it in by noon the following Monday. We could choose between 2 subjects: obstetrics and general surgery. I chose obstetrics since this would be my last chance to learn about the subject. During the practical I had only actually been involved in 2 cesareans. I planned my days carefully with 3-4 two to three hour work periods, totalling 8 hrs a day for 7 days (9 hrs on the last day). Between work sessions I walked the dogs, went shopping, made dinner, hung laundry etc. The only problem was that when I was done writing I had 1300 too many words. I spent almost the whole last day cutting back. In the end I wrote a little about a lot. The question is whether I rather should have written a lot about a little. But by the time I realized that I should have done it completely differently it was Friday afternoon - too late to start over.

For those who are interested here's what I wrote about: We were given a case. Part A was to identify and describe the challenges for anesthesia nursing contained in the case. Part B was to write about one of these problems in depth. The case was a young women coming for a semi-emergency cesarean because of failure to progress with labor after an uneventful pregnancy. In my paper I took her through all the scenarios which could necessitate conversion of an epidural anesthesia to general anesthesia and then all the complications relating to airway management during the induction of general anesthesia and the options which each complication presented.

When I went to work in the afternoon after handing in the test I found I still am not up to my best performance. This has been bothering me since. As a nurse you have to be up to your best, all the time. As a nurse anesthetist even more so. And so I have decided that the advice given at the evaluation was good and that I would try to rest up during Christmas. I have so far been able too stay away from my books. I have some withdrawal symptoms - a kind of restlessness, but am doing my best to frivolously do things like watching Grey's Anatomy, reading novels, playing logic games (griddlers) online, and do some working out (unfortunately all this school stuff is not good for my waistline).

During the last few days I have also been enjoying baking hutzelbrot and bagels, shopping, setting up the creche and decorating for Christmas. Really I have to thank my family that we are having a Christmas at all! Husband baked almost all the cookies. Ingvild and Christhian trimmed the tree yesterday. I am now going to start cooking christmas dinner, before picking up Irene from the bus from Oslo, and Ingvild from work.

Merry Christmas!

Winter Wonderland

It's been snowing for a couple of days now. A fine misting snow started on monday night and continued through tuesday, then got serious tuesday night. Woke up wednesday with about 7" and it has continues all day. We probably have close to a foot of snow now. It's beautiful the way it softens all the sharp edges, Lining the twiggs and branches with white. The lights from the houses with Christmas stars in the windows, golden against the the twighlight world.

I am not taking so many extra shifts now it is Advent. We have hung the advent star in the window, and started the Creche. The advent candles are on the table, a circular candleholder with 4 candles, one for each sunday. I have been ordering presents, and started baking: hutzelbrot and lebkuchen for starters. Saint Nicholas is being rather sporadic this year. He has brought advent calendars to Beren and Tormod in Ithaca, and left a bunch of goodies in Audun's shoes when he visited on sunday, the rest of us are still waiting. Perhaps he's off at the coal mines getting coal for us? I hope not. Course Saint Nicolas day isn't until Saturday, so maybe he'll be visiting our shoes then. I'll put them out, just in case.

Giving Thanks

My job keeps reminding me of how fragile life is. One minute you can be going about your business, next minute you're dead, or someone you love is dead, or dying, or has had their life turned upside down because of an accident or a stroke or something. I keep getting reminded of how important it is to live with the awareness that each day could be your last, and to be prepared for death or disability.

Today we went to see "The Little Match Girl", performed by the dance/drama juniors of Ingvild's High School. It is a heart-breaking story, of indifference, self-service, peer-pressure, the turning from need with the excuse that others surely will care for the needy. Ingvild danced in the performance: the waiter bringing in the roast with a gleefull grin, and the snow falling on the dead matchgirl...

Audun and Irene came to watch the performance as well. Afterward we had our thanksgiving dinner: turkey with stuffing, gravy, corn og the cob, baked sweet potatoes, waldorf salad, brokkoli and brusselsprouts steamed in butter, and cranberry relish. Cranberries were hard to get this year. My regular supermarket couldn't get them, but there's this ethnic store, run by a turkish family, where I go to get Tofu, halva, real greek feta made of goat and sheeps milk, haloumi etc, and they ordered them special for me. For desert we had pumkin chiffon pie and apple pie.

We talked about what we were thankfull for: Husband for his new job, which has made it possible to cut back on his medication. Irene for breaking up with Stian, and finding such a good friend in her new living situation. Ingvild for her Columbian boyfriend, and her job which she loves, we are all thankfull that Father is doing so well, and that Tormod finally got his drivers licence and has made a life for himself in the US. And the kids were thankful that their Father got better after his heart attack. Audun didn't say much about what he is thankful for, but seems to be pretty happy with his life, his job, new girlfriend, red cross youth, and has just aquired yet another elektronic toy: an I-phone. For myself, I am thankful for all of the above and also for the opportunity to start my anesthesiology training in january.

First week in Ithaca, June 20 - 28

The trip was a marathon. We got up at 2:45am to drive to the airport. Our flight to Copenhagen left at 6:15. After a 4 1/2 hour layover we continued our journey with a new flight to Newark. It was one of those modern planes with a little screen on the back of each seat and a dozen movies and games to choose from. I watched 3 movies: "the water horse" (very cute!), "Horton hears a Who" (interresting concept), and "Northanger Abbey" (I love Jane Austin films!). Got to Newark at 2:20pm and took the bus to Port Authority, arriving just as the bus to Ithaca was leaving. We had 2 hrs to buy supper to eat on the bus and a frappucino at Starbucks before the 6:30pm bus left for Ithaca. By this time I had acute dementia, with an attention span of 1 minute, short term memory of 10 seconds. It is an amazing and frustrating experience. Also my Alternatives Visa card wasn't working. Even though I tried several versions of what I thought was the PIN. Slept most of the way on the bus. We arrived at 11:30, walked to the house on Meadow street and collapsed into bed.

40TH BIRTHDAY
Our first day in Ithaca was also Husband's 40th birthday. We woke up at 7am. My brother-in-law, Joe had made coffee. Went shopping for breakfast things at Green Star. My alternatives card still wasn't working but I finally got the explanation: Alternatives Bank had changed every bodys PIN a month ago. I vaguely remembered Mother and Father mentioning this during one of my phone calls. We spent the morning going to Staples for office and school supplies. Then to the Ithaca Festival where I danced two contras. Finally we met up with my brother, Roland and Sharon to order the t-shirts for the aniversary at the T-shirt express. Husband was exhausted by then and we went home to nap and read, do laundry and clean the kitchen.

Birthday dinner at the Thai restaurant on the commons, to celebrate both Sharon (29 last sunday) and Husband. Mother and Father came. Mother looks as usual. Father has lost a lot of weight, but looks good. Older, and distinguished with his cane. Joe joined us as well before going back to Rochester. His only meal with us all before he and my sister come back from California.


All in all a good day. Met and hugged several dancing friends. I just love the ease with which you can exchange hugs in America. Good to see Mother and Father, Roland and Sharon, and Joe. Katya and Poussette, which are my sisters cats, are here as well, and as they readjust to Ithaca and us, I'm sure we'll be seeing more of them.

MIDSUMMER PICNIC
My parents had their midsummer potluch picnic and bonfire on Sunday. They had invited all the people who've visited father in the hospital as well as neighbors and their Waldorf and church friends.

Though the forecast had been for rain (70% chance) the weather was clear and warm. It had rained all night, so maybe that took care of the 70%. I had agreed to hostess the event and Roland was to be «fire chief» so we all came out early. Everyone brought food. In keeping with the tradition mother supplied her famous vegetarian lasagna (made by me) and strawberry shortcake. There was lots of other yummy food and deserts as well. Although the guests came from a variety of venues in which my parents have been active: the union, biodynamic agriculture, waldorf, chorus, church, neighbors etc, and thus did not know each other, - some people even brought friends/relatives who didn't know my parents - everyone seemed to get along.

As dusk deepened and the fireflies started lighting up the evening we wound our way up to where Roland had built a bonfire and there we sat around the fire singing, while the flames and sparks rose up and the kids roasted marshmallows in the embers a little later.

"Rise up O flame! By thy light glowing,
Show to us beauty, vision and joy!"

ITHACA IS GORGES
Monday, Husband and I went to Buttermilk Falls, he to run, I to hike. I love this trail, and walking in the early morning when no one else is out, green light filtering through leafy trees and vines, the stillness broken only by bird song and the splashing and rushing of the river. It had rained all night, and I had to splash through puddles on the stones of the gorge path. I did a figure 8, walking up the rim trail to the first bridge, then up the gorge trail to the second bridge, back down the rim trail to the first bridge and the gorge trail down to the pool at the bottom of the falls. The whole trip took me 40 minutes, and I sat on a bench by the pool reading until Husband, who had run all the way to the top and then around Lake Treman, came. The whole run, at least twice of what I had walked had taken him an hour!

In the evening I went to the contra dance on the commons. There was lightning and thunder when we started, and by the ende of the first dance it had started to rain. We moved under the roof of the pavilion - just in time. No sooner were we safe under the roof than a veritable downpour started that lasted for 3 dances. It was a crowded but cozy with the musicians and dancers all under the roof together, and the floor is better for dancing. Still, we continued dancing on the pavement, splashing in the puddles, when the rain stopped. There was just more space.

WAITING ROOMS AND OLD FRIENDS
Spent tuesday and wednesday taking father to his appointments and waiting around in doctor's offices. It is incredibly time consuming, which is why we wanted to take it off Mother's hands. Yesterday we went to the oncologist, who was very happy with how things are looking. Today it was the eye doctor. We did some stuff on the farm as well. Husband mowed the lawn, I hung laundry and cooked. Went swimming with Mother at the YWCA yesterday.

Ingvild has been visiting her school and catching up with teachers and old friends. We went to dinner at the Morales' tuesday evening. He made Guatamalan tacos, and showed us his garden. He is a wizzard with trees and bushes, trims yews into fancy shapes. Facinating. The house was full of teenagers. Ingvild and her friends, the Morales kids and their friends...I really liked Cindy Morales, the mother. She is a nurse like me, and Lauren's parents were there too, so there were some adults to talk to.

Wednesday night we had dinner with Roland and Sharon. Talked about their experience of Father's illness and how Mother and Father are dealing with it. A good talk. Roland and Sharon, especially Roland has been carrying a lot of responsibility. I think it will be good for him to get some distance when they go to California.

Friday we drove up to Taughannough to go kayaking with David Morales, Lauren and Ingvild today. What fun! Saw lots of crayfish near the shore, under the stones.I'v never seen them before. They are like little lobsters.

LES MISERABLES
Our birthday present from Mother and Father was tickets to the musical Les Miserables playing at the Merry-go-round theatre in Auburn. It was a lovely drive through Fingerlakes farmland, and a very nice performance. Not your usual catchy melodies, and not a lot of dancing, but a beautiful story. Very typical Victor Hugo.

May 17th: Norwegian National Holiday

Woke up today to snow flurries! What a start to a day which in Norway is a celebration of Spring (as well as the constitution, democracy, independence, and peace).

It is Ingvild's 17th birthday as well, so we started the day with birthday breakfast: cocoa, boiled eggs, fried bacon, toast, presents and a little later, birthday cake. I decorated the table with balloons and bunches of flowers: daffodils and primroses. At 11am she got on the train to town. She is going to her old school to have cake and meet ex-classmates, and then to town to have dinner with her boyfriend and see the Russ (high school graduates) parade.

At noon we went to the village to watch the children's parade, listen to band music, sing national anthems and have ice cream. There is a store with Italian ice cream. Yummy!

Made a tofu veggie stir fry with fried rice for dinner. Otherwise I've been spending the day working on editing this blogg. The weather has been too unstable to make gardening savory: there's been a chill wind, and spots of sunshine, punctuated by snow/sleet flurries. Brrr.

Second week of Advent

Leaden skies and frozen fog have Hedmark in an iron grip. The thermometer seems stuck at 14 degrees Fahrenheit. Brrrr.

I spent the week baking for Christmas: Norwegian sandcakes, sandwich cookies and gingerbread, German cinnamon stars, and chocolate heart sandwiches, and of course on St Lucia's day, Swedish Lucia bread, a yeast bread made with saffron and formed into various sun symbols.

Tormod collapsed at work and was admitted to the hospital. Exhaustion apparently. Too much stress, not enough sleep and infrequent and irregular meals. I'm worried about him. Hope he will take this as a warning and take better care of his health.

Irene has been unhappy at work, too much responsibility and not enough guidance. They're working her hard, making her work alone much of the time, and not paying overtime. She is after all an apprentice, not a pastry chef.

Husband started physical therapy this week for his inflamed achilles tendons. Suddenly all his favorite activities are forbidden: dancing, running, skiing, cycling. He's only allowed to walk, and not overdo that either! The treatments are painful - but hopefully they will help.

On tuesday we went on the 11.4 km "Snøkuten", a nighttime walk/run in the hills near here (this was before the physical therapist limited the amount of walking Husband is allowed to do). It took us 1 hr and 35 minutes and my butt and thighs ached for days afterward. Still, I'm trying to work out more intensely and more regularly to stop the trend of weight gain which has been going on for the past 6 years.

Ingvild has had a lot of tests these past 2 weeks. She's done really well, though she was disappointed with her grades in ballet and jazzdance. Tonight we all watched her hip hop performance. It was outdoors in 4 degrees Fahrenheit, but worth coming to. She is good!

First Week of Advent

ADVENT PREPARATIONS
As 3 of the children are living on their own I got them each an advent present. For Irene and Audun an Advent candle holder with candles. For Tormod a star (with an electric light in it) to hang in his window. Ingvild, who is still living at home, got a ticket to see the hip hop version of the Nutcracker Suite.
I met Tormod at a bar called Sistre Indre on Sunday. Felt we hadn't really talked in a long time. We had a long talk over 2 cups of cocoa, and he filled me in on his trip to London (a birthday present from a friend) and life in general.
Did the same with Audun on Wednesday. We went to the bakery where Irene works, since Audun hadn't been there before. There we had coffee and sampled cakes she had made. She was so surprised and pleased to see us there, and I had a good talk with Audun as well.


NUTCRACKER SUITE
The month of December was initiated with heavy snows. The radio warned that december 1st was a good day to stay home and curl up with a good book. Of course that was the day we had tickets to take Ingvild to the Nutcracker Suite in Oslo. Here, along the lake a wet snow was falling, but in Oslo it was pouring rain. Before the show we went to the Italian Cafe "Dolce Vita", that I always go to when I'm in Oslo, where we had ice cream cake and coffee. Ingvild almost lost her ticket. It fell out of her pocket on the way to the theater. She retraced her steps and found it soaking wet but intact on the pavement. The show was great, with some pretty impressive dancing. Some people had brought very small children who were frightened by the monsters and had to leave... Why bring small children to a hip hop show anyway!?

SLICK ROADS
After the rain, which eventually hit Hedmark as well, the roads were of course transformed to scating rinks. On Tuesday a bus slid off the road on one of our country roads, the tractor which came to pull it out ended up in the ditch as well.
Thursday, I thought I wouldn't get to work at all: when I got up in the morning, a car which had slid off the road was partially blocking the driveway. Luckily Tor managed to ease my car out past it.
Meantime I'd replaced the back right hand light on the car, which I'd smashed when I backed into Tor's car at Thanksgiving. This turned out to be an expensive part: about $150, which Tor replaced for me himself. Friday evening I came out from Irenes house where I was picking up Ingvild, to where I had left the car on the curb, and it was not there. It had rolled (or slid) backwards across the street and stopped in a pile of snow, missing a tree by inches. Had it hit the tree, the same back light would have been smashed again! But I was lucky that time.

HEART ATTACK
The children's father had a heart attack this weekend. This came as both a shock and a surprise, as heart disease does not run in his family to my knowledge. It came on as it often does with chest pain after shoveling snow. However he was sent to a Hospital in Oslo for cardiac catheterization where they unblocked and stented 3 arteries. Obviously the children have been worried and upset.

SHORTHANDED IN THE ER
The ER has been busy this week, and several people are out sick. On Sunday they called at 6:45 am to ask if I could work the day shift. I had thawed lots of currants to juice for gløgg, so had to say no. Don't you know, they called back at 2:30 pm (by now I was kneading the dough for the advent cake) to ask if I could come in for the afternoon shift. I did end up working Monday - Friday this week though. The hospital is as usual struggling to stay within the budget, and the latest effort by the ER is to not replace the first person to call in on an evening shift on weekdays, thus leaving us potentially shorthanded. Wednesday evening went okay, but Friday evening was hell!

SAINT NICOLAS
Saint Nicolas Day was on Thursday. Wednesday after work I drove Saint Nicholas around Hamar along absolutely icy roads to deliver packages to Irene and Tormod. It was simply too icy for his horse so I had offered to chauffeur him around. He must have made it to Stange on his own, because in the morning there were packages in each or our shoes at Fjellhaug as well. Irene messaged me when she found the package in her shoe by her front door, when she went to work at 5:30 am. She couldn't figure out how St Nicolas had managed it.

Thanksgiving

Audun messaged me on Thursday: Anja (his girlfriend) was free on Sunday (nobody has Thursday off in Norway!), if it wasn't too short notice. So I called the others, and they all said they'd come. Tormod wasn't sure about the friend he'd invited, but he'd know by 8 pm.

On Friday I had the day off. I made a list, gathered my shopping bags, got in the car, backed out of the carport and - slammed right into the side of my husbands car parked in front of the garage. Smashed the door on the drivers side clear into the frame so that now he has to climb in and out of the passenger side.

I was able to get everything I needed at the local grocery, except for pumpkin. Had to go all the way into town to an ethnic supermarket, where they gave me a 1/2 pumpkin of a kind I hadn't seen before. It had very dark orange meat, but stringy, like spaghetti squash. I baked it in the oven, got 2 cups for the pumpkin chiffon pie, 4 cups which I froze, and about a cup and a half of which I made pumpkin soup on Saturday, which was surprisingly delicious. Even Ingvild liked it!

Saturday I made the pies (apple and pumpkin) and the cranberry relish. You can get cranberries in Norway now. You didn't used to. Then on Sunday I stuffed the turkey with bread stuffing with onions, peppers, celery, sage and savory, and put it in the oven to roast. On the side we had gravy, corn-on-the-cob, steamed Brussels sprouts and broccoli, and baked potatoes, sweet, and regular. Oddly enough, after 2 hrs in the oven they were only barely done - quite hard actually. The turkey too took longer than anticipated - 3 hrs instead of the expected 2. Just as well that they all came on the 4:15 pm train, instead of 3:10 pm as originally planned.Audun had overslept and missed the first train.

I originally expected 9 to dinner. However, Tormod called on Friday to say that his friend couldn't make it; but by that time I'd done the shopping and it was too late to postpone. Saturday night at 1:30 am a message ticked in from Audun: Anya had a toothache and couldn't make it either. I started to worry that Irene and her boyfriend would cancel as well, but when I met the train at 4:15 all 4 were there: Audun, Tormod, Irene and her boyfriend. What a relief.

Except for the potatoes I believe the dinner was a success. Though I found the explanation for the potatoes when I was taking the meat off the bones after dinner. The turkey was completely uncooked underneath. It turns out that the bottom element of the oven wasn't working at all. No wonder I've been having trouble baking. I've had to give up baking bread, but hadn't been able to figure out what was wrong. Anyway, we've ordered a new stove to arrive before Christmas baking begins.

What do I have to be thankful for this year?
1. The insurance will pay for the repair on the Land Rover.
2. I figured out what was wrong with the stove, and I can afford a new one.
3. I have a plan to pay off my private debts in 13 months
4. The family has agreed on a plan to celebrate Mother and Father's 50th anniversary.
5. I'm happy and comfortable in my job in the ER
6. (and most important), the whole family together for thanksgiving!

Midsummer Nights Dream

In the morning Roland and Sharon picked us up to go strawberry picking. They had been to a wedding last week and the conversation in the car was about the meaning of marriage vows. The minister had said that the primary task for the newlyweds was to serve and take care of each other. Sharon quite rightly says no, the primary task is for each individual to take care of himself, becauses only then will he/she be able to give. I agree with this. Caring for another should be a gift given in freedom and love, not a chore or obligation. Marriage should not be about chains that tie a couple to one another, but about journeying through life together as partners, and companions.

In the afternoon we went to see the musical Beauty and the Beast. That play moves me. The themes: that love cannot be about ownership (Gascon wants to own Belle, the beast keeps her prisoner to try to force her to love him); but about getting under the other persons skin, seeing beneath the surface (Belle discovers the vulnerable, the struggling human under the surface of the beast); allowing the needs of the beloved to come before ones own desires (the beast lets Belle go even though he risks never becoming human again, because she needs to help her father).

In the evening Mother and Father's midsummer potluck and bonfire. Before everyone came we celebrated Sharon's birthday (of last week) with presents. A variety of people came to the potluck: old friends of my parents, a couple of ladies from the German folksong group, a family from the Waldorf school, there were young children and a couple of girls in their early 20's that Ingvild could hang out with. There was lots of good food: vegetable curry with rice, macaroni and tuna salad, green salad, baked beans, boiled carrots and pickled red beets. For desert there was jello with pears, strawberry shortcake, and Sharon's carrot-coconut cake with cream cheese icing! When it started getting dark, we all went to the back garden here Father had prepared the bonfire, and as it it burned we sang rounds, the kids made s'mores and roasted marshmallows. Fireflies were flitting about. And in the summer sky, the moon, Venus, and Jupiter like jewels among the other stars...

Family Easter

We gathered at the farm, 3 generations. Mother and Father, the kids, and the grandkids. A selection at least. If we had all been there with significant others, there would be 19 of us. Mother had set several card tables against each other and the dining room table in the living room to make room for the 11 of us. The table is set with lace and decorated with forsythia and pussywillows in vases. In a basket in the center are the eggs we have all been coloring the past couple of days. I've always wanted to try vegetable colors. The red cabbage eggs came out a bright blue, the turmuric eggs a warm yellow, but the red beet eggs are a muddy red, not the bright red I had hoped for.

After a dinner of nut loaf (my brother, Roland and Sharon are vegetarian), salad, and baked sweet potatoes, came the basket game. Mother had prepared easter baskets for all, with easter candy and little knitted finger gnomes. One by one each of us took one of the others baskets and hid them outside. Then we all went out at once to look for our baskets. Meghann found hers right away, as if she had seen Sharon hide it. Sharon took it and hid it again. There were many good hiding places: Mother's was up a tree, my nephew, Beren's was in the old bathtub lying on it's side, Sharon's was behind a bale of hay, mine was covered with shovels and garden tools and so on. Even though it was cold and a little snow was blowing in the air, we had a blast!