Lost

Today nothing went as planned. I had packed and planned ahead. I knew which train I had to take to San Jose, and how to get to the greyhound station to take the bus north to McKinnleyville, where I was planning to visit my friend, Sally for a couple of days. I had bought stamps so that I could spend the 4 hr layover in Oakland writing postcards to people back home. I was planning to study "a return to love" by Marianne Williamsen on the 6.5 hr bus ride to Arcata. But that's not how the day went. 

I left my purse containing my iPad and wallet on the train when I got off at San Jose. The train had already left the platform when I discovered what had happened. I ended up spending the rest of the day trying to locate my bag, to no avail. I called customer service from from San Jose, I took a train to the lost and found in Santa Clara, before finally admitting my stupidity to Roland and making my way back to his house feeling like a total idiot and a complete imposition. Roland was very nice about it and was totally on board with having me for a couple more days, but when I called Sally, she said she wanted to come and get me. She's leaving tonight, and arriving early tomorrow morning to pick me up.

For the past few days I've been thinking about the things that make me feel safe and whole. Things with which I tend to identify: my career, my relationships, being a mother, living in the country, having a dog, being able to travel. Now I am suddenly discovering how attached I am to a piece of electronic equipment - my iPad. It has my diary, my books, my address book, my cookbook, my calendar, a meditation, all kinds of notes, and my connection to the Internet with email, blogs, Facebook, Carcassonne, yoga etc. and then there's my wallet containing my credit cards, drivers license, Norwegian Imigration card, stamps etc. without my iPad, I feel naked. Without my wallet, I feel paralyzed. 

The lack of those two items makes me feel so helpless. And it was still a beautiful, warm, sunshiny day, with the scent of flowers and friendly people and a train where they didn't check my tickets, because though I had accidentally bought 4 tickets instead of one, they were in the missing bag. And I have clothes to wear and a couple of good books in my suitcase.  I still have my phone and my passport and my bus and plane tickets, because they were in my backpack. I have a brother and sister-in-law with whom I can stay and who could lend me money. He even let me use his iPad this evening. His orange tree is still providing oranges and his lemon tree, lemonade. And I know my meditation by heart. So really, I am fine. 

Belinda Davidsen's School of the Modern Mystic

It is no secret that I was raised in an anthroposophical family. Indeed, I am a third generation anthroposophist. Many of my family members have devoted their lives to anthroposophy: my grandfather as an anthroposophical doctor, my aunt as a eurythmist, married to a priest of the Christian Community, my mother as a Waldorf kindergarden teacher, my father tried his hand both as a Waldorf teacher and as a biodynamic farmer. My sister is a Waldorf teacher. My mother, at 80+ has a biodynamic CSA garden. 

I attended waldorf school myself from 2nd grade to graduation from high school, and I was christened, confirmed and married in the Christian Community. I have felt connected to anthroposophy throughout my adult life as well: At 18 I became a member of the anthroposophical society and at 33 I became a member of the school for spiritual developement within the anthroposophic society  known as the First Class. I have continued my connection to the Christian Community, sent my children to waldorf school, and, since my father's death 4 years ago, my study and practice of anthroposophy intensified.

Now my father was a searching soul: he was simultaneously both buddhist, christian and anthroposophist. I think I can thank him for providing me with the example that allows me to have an open mind regarding spirituality. 

So how did I find my way to Belinda Davidsen and the School of the Modern Mystic?  It was when I experienced my personal crisis of last spring, when I lost my joy, confidence and energy for work, that  I began exploring modern spirituality. The problem that I have had with Anthroposophy is that, though the content is largely of timeless value,  Rudolf Steiner's books and lectures are given in the context of where the world was 100 years ago.

 My older daughter had given me a book by Eckhart Tolle called "The Power of Now" and I began reading it and practicing mindfulness. What I discovered was that while Rudolf Steiner gives many mantras and other content for meditation, he doesn't really teach you to meditate. Mindfulness, as taught by Eckhart Tolle gave me the HOW of meditation. 

Around the same time as I started reading "The Power of Now", I was reading a health  blog, also recommended by my oldest daughter. There I discovered a guest post by Belinda Davidsen on how to become psychic. The thing is, I have always been religious, and I basically believe that Rudolf Steiner describes the spiritual world as he experienced it, it's just that I have never been completely happy to just take it all on faith. In fact it is just Steiner's assertion that EVERYONE has within them the possibility to develope the ability to experience spiritual truths first hand that has kept me going. 

So Belinda's post sparked my interest, and  it  led me to her website where I downloaded her free 7 day chakra course, and began reading her blog and signing up for her free white light healings every Monday. What appealed to me about Belinda was how down to earth and completely grounded she is. She tells about what it's like to be psychic in such a matter of fact manner, her approach to chakra work is not theoretical, or philosophical but completely practical and refreshingly original. It also turns out that she is a big fan of Eckhart Tolle. 

Taking level 1 from mid-July to mid-January has taken me much more deeply into chakra work. Initially the White Light seemed a bit diffuse and new-agey to me and  I thought I would work with the chakras and just ignore this strange thing with White Light. But it turns out that level one has a whole module devoted to White Light, and as I learned more about it, and how to use it actively in my own life, I have warmed to it. In addition to learning how to harmonise and balance my chakras, which, whether you believe in them or not, is a truly fascinating approach to self developement, I learned to channel the White Light for myself to resolve particular issues, and also to start to become the creator of my own reality. Directly and indirectly the work in Level I has opened me up to exploring other spiritual modalities such as working with angels, and manifesting.  I haven't become psychic (yet), but am learning a different perspective on self-love, and abundance. If you want to learn more you can use the following link. And if you decide to enroll and you use this link to do so, I will even get a commission (which would do wonders for my strained financial situation).  http://schoolofthemodernmystic.com/level1?ap_id=gudrunvl

Below are a couple of links to interviews with Belinda by Jess, the Wellness Warrior.  

 http://www.thewellnesswarrior.com.au/2014/03/wellness-warrior-tv-belinda-davidson-talk-soul-medicine/

http://www.thewellnesswarrior.com.au/2013/07/wellness-warrior-tv-belinda-davidson-spiritual-health-2/

There are also several free videos offering some insight into what The School of the Modern Mystic is all about on the school website. Also, DO explore Belinda's blogg - it is life altering all on it's own.