Sunday, August 29, 2010

My thinking spot


This is the path that leads to my thinking spot



These stones are the ruins of a viking age fort near the edge of the lake.



This is the stone on which I sit listening to the wind in the trees and the waves lapping on the shore.



And here is the view from my thinking spot.
There's a place I like to go when I need to get some perspective on things that are bothering me. It can be things like not feeling appreciated at work, or feeling torn between the needs of different family members at home. When I sit on my rock overlooking the lake, in one direction all I see is dark forests - I can almost believe that a thousand years have fallen away, and imagine a viking ship coming out from behind the point of land. In another direction the fields of ripe grain reach down almost to the shore, different shades of brown for wheat, barley and oats. Then I close my eyes and just listen to wind in the trees, the sounds of birds, of the dogs splashing in the water and the waves lapping on the stones. It's funny how the sound of water eases the mind. When my mind is in turmoil I look for an opportunity to go to my thinking spot at the lake. There I am able to sort out my feelings, and find positive solutions, at least a positive way to deal with whatever situation brought me here.
For example I have been feeling unappreciated at work. It affects my motivation. I am all tied in knots about it. My time at the lake brought the following insights:
  • I will not allow lack of appreciation to influence my commitment to my patients. My primary concern will be excellent patient care and my secondary concern will be to participate in the smooth running of the unit.
  • I should not allow the lack of acknowledgement of the value of my skills keep me from constantly working to improve them. Too long I have allowed the fear that the past year and a half were wasted keep me from studying to improve my knowledge. No more!
  • This situation of not being appreciated, of my qualifications not being acknowledged is making it easier to let go of my current position, and the safety it represents (steady job, secure future) and keep applying for jobs in other places. I am looking at nurse-anesthetist jobs anywhere in Norway, and intensive care jobs at local hospitals. I have registered with the labor department and with 4 temp agencies. It also makes it easier to start considering a move to america, even if I'm not qualified to work as a nurse anesthetist there.
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I had a job interview last week. They asked 2 standard questions
  1. How would you describe yourself?
  2. How do you think your co-workers would describe you?
Here are my reflections on these subjects:

1. How would I describe myself?

I talk alot. Some say I talk too much. On the other hand I believe in the importance of communication with patients and their family members. It is something I am constantly working on. So yes, I talk alot, but I try to make that an asset.
Also, if I hear that someone has a problem with me or a complaint, I will go to that person to clear things up. Same if I'm the one with the complaint. I don't like to let things fester and just bitch to everyone else. So people know where they have me.
I may seem unsociable, because I bury my nose in a book or sit at the computer when business is slow, rather than hang out in the common room shooting the breeze. The thing is, I give so much of myself to my patients and to the job, that when I have some free time, lunch break or whatever, I need time to myself to recharge.
I enjoy working independently. On the other hand I enjoy working in a team where the individual responsibilities are clearly defined. Thus I work very well with doctors, nurses aides, housekeeping staff. The problem arrises when I have to work in a team with nurses who have a different level of commitment, or where my area of responsibility is unclear.

2. How would my colleagues describe me?

I have been told that I am capable and thorough. What I want them to think of me is this: I want them to find it easy to ask me for help. I also want them to think that when they take over one of my patients everything is well taken care of. If I write a report it should be complete. When I leave a room, it should be ready for a new patient (I sometimes fail in this - so there is room for improvement here). I want people to think of me: "when she does something, she does it properly".
I've also been thinking about the differences between being a nurse in the US as opposed to Norway. Each place has it's pros and cons:
In the US you are expected to have a higher level of medical knowledge and assessment skills. Your work is noticed more by your superiors, and good work is appreciated . There is a strong emphasis on customer service and continuing education.
The cons are living in constant fear that a mistake can cost you your licence, and the constant evaluations can get in the way of going about your business of taking care of patients. Also having no more than 2 weeks of vacation, work every other weekend and a 40 hr work week would burn me out in the long run.
On the other hand, in Norway you can work much more independently as a nurse, in other words you can use your knowledge and skills more independently and that is extremely satisfying. Also the work situation is better with longer vacations (5 weeks), less weekend work (every 3rd or 4th) and a shorter work week (35,5 hrs).
The cons are that no one gives a sh*t whether you do a good job, as long as you don't get any major complaints, and further education is not a priority, except for the bare essentials required by law.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Job Interview and a dog fight

Today I had a jobinterview with a temp company called Jobzone. They were looking for a nurse anesthetist for a client. The job was in Oslo, and would be a daytime job, no weekends, evenings or nights. Originally I found the idea of commuting to Oslo prohibitive, but when I thought more about it I thought that if I could work 4 days a week, and have a regular rhythm it might just work. I was really excited when they called to set up an interview, and also kind of scared at the thought of giving up my steady job for a temporary anesthesia job and who knows what that would lead to. But I am determined to try to get an anesthesia job one way or another.

Anyway, this morning I got up at 5 to walk the dogs before taking the 6:55 train to Oslo. It was pouring rain when I walked the dogs, and still pouring rain while I waited at the station. When I got to Oslo I found the subway alright. When I emerged at my destination it was still pouring rain. I followed the instructions I'd been given: exited throught the main doors and discovered the Oslo Business School directly across the street. I walked around the building and at the back I found the Jobzone office.

First I was kept waiting for half an hour. The lady who was doing the interview was held up in traffic. When she arrived she was just. so. nice. After a few minutes she suggested that she call the chief nurse anesthetist of the client - a private clinic in Oslo - and maybe set up an interview right away. When she mentioned the name I realized that it was the name of a clinic to which I had applied a couple of weeks ago, but who had not yet responded.
When she resumed the conversation with: "I will be completely honest with you..." I knew what was coming. They wanted folks with experience.

Why is it that anesthetist managers don't send that letter saying: "thank you for your interrest. But the position has been filled with someone more qualified/we require minimum X years of experience" ? Do they think that their applicants like their patients are unconscious and won't notice if they get a rejection letter or not?

Still had a nice talk with the nurse recruiter and she assured me that she would do what she could to find me a job, she wasn't giving up on Aleris either, sooner or later they might get so desperate that they would take me in spite of my lack of experience (should I even hope for that? - if the reason is that they are not set up to give the backing that new nurse anesthetists need?). Whatever.

It had stopped raining when I returned to the subway and arrived at the train station with an hour to kill. Used it to get Irene a birthday present. Met my dentist waiting for the same train. The latest crisis met me upon my return. Topsy had attacked Lucy again - she has begun attacking her unprovoked. Lucy fought back this time, but when the scuffle was over she was limping on 3 legs. The vet felt around at her paw, couldn't figure out whether it was sprained or broken. Lucy tried to bite her to make her stop, so we muzzled her. Even with a muzzle on she fought to get away, get the muzzle off, bite. She got herself all exhausted. I was a bit worried how she would react when we took the muzzle off, but after only a minute or so she was accepting goodies from the vets hand. So I guess their relationship isn't totally ruined.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Splashing through bog and stream

Orienteering

This weekend Husband, Audun and I ran 3 orienteering races, all of them on boggy ground after heavy rains. It was so wet that several times I sank right down to the thigh in mud, the brooks and streams so swollen that it was impossible to jump them - you had to just splash right through them.



Audun

Thursday was the club championship for 3 local clubs. I ran a 3,5 km A-level course, Husband ran a 4,5 km course and Audun accidentally ran a 6,5 km course. It was Auduns first time orienteering in 8 years so I was amazed that he finished in approximatly the same time as Husband did. It was a rainy afternoon. I was afraid I'd be out all night as I normally stay away from such long A-level courses but it went well. There was a strange bird that followed me for a bit. I never really caught sight of it, but it had an odd call. I wonder what it could have been.



Dancer

Saturday was the bog-sprint (myrsprinten), meaning lots and lots of controlls on a relatively short course. Here too I ran an A-level course (3 km). I started off running along a path in the wrong direction but discovered my mistake pretty quickly when I came to a bridge over a stream. Since there wasn't supposed to be a stream on the path I checked my compass and thats when I discovered that I was running north instead of south.

Between the 7th and 8th control I met up with Husband who was wondering where he was. I had just been trying to figure out the same thing, and so could enlighten him. He has this tendency to get carried away with running fast, forgetting to check the map and compass and thus gets lost. Anyway he finished second to last and was bummed out about that.
Anyway I only finished 12 minutes after the next to last contestant which for me, is doing well. Last time I competed on an A-level course I was 20 minutes behind the second to last.


Husband (in white with red+blue stripes)

Sunday for the bog-tramp (myrtrampen) Husband promised himself to slow down and concentrate on his orienteering skills and sure enough he finished second and brought home a prize. As for me, after starting in the wrong direction again but getting myself back on track after a few meters, I tramped along through the bogs and splashed over streams for 3 km again (but C-level this time). Once I saw a moose cow running along a ridge right in front of me. Thats what I like about orienteering: the cool flowers and wildlife that you see. The satisfaction of finding the controls. I wish I was faster. I tried running across some of the bogs but it is exhausting. To tell the truth everything hurt on monday after all 3 days of this. Audun did really great too. He had some incredibly long courses: 5-6 km both days. I am amazed at how he is able to keep up with the others in his class.


My course on Sunday. You can see how wet it was and where I saw the moose.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Training for the inca trail

Working out more was one of my resolutions for after graduation. For the first 6 months of the year I was managing to work out 1 hr a week, and for the year before that I worked out even more sporadically. Also I have done zero strength training in the past year and a half. The only regular exercise I've been getting was a 20 minute (not necesarily brisk) walk with the dogs every morning.

There are a number of reasons to work out:

  1. Losing weight. Around christmas I became officially overweight as defined by BMI > 25.
  2. protects against heart disease and diabetes (not that I am really in any danger of aquiring these, but it's nice to know) as well as certain kinds of cancer - specifically colon and breast (now that I am worried about).
  3. Helps promote a positive outlook. My husband tells me I'm negative all the time. Since aquiring an mp3 player exercise also gives me an excuse to listen to audio books, music and keep abreast of the latest news via the BBC world service.
  4. Protects against Dementia! Apparently, according to a book I'm reading on brain research, exercise causes new brain cells to "grow". Also middle-aged and older people who exercise have been found to have heavier brains that people of the same age who don't. As far as I'm concerned is more important than being protected from heart disease and diabetes).

All this is regarding any exercise that increases the heart and respiratory rate and makes you sweaty: ie brisk walking, bicycling, orienteering, cross country skiing, and dancing to name the ones I do.

Strength training has other benefits. I do mostly pilates and yoga based strength training.

  1. Strengthens the bones. Important for us women after menopause whose bones easily get brittle if we don't strengthen them.
  2. Protects the joints and the back from wear and tear. If you have arthritic joints, strengthening the muscles that hold them in place protects them. Same goes for lower back pain (or any back pain). If you strenghten the muscles of the back and abdomen it protects your back.
  3. Improves balance, suppleness and provides relaxation.
  4. Improves the figure (or so they claim).

So what am I doing about it?

In the first month since graduation I doubled my workouts: from once to twice a week. Then in July I increased my workouts to 2-3 X a week, and since I started having back problems I've started up strength training 2-3 X a week also. In august I'm intending to increase both cardio work-outs and strength training to 3-4X a week (30 - 90 minute sessions, depending).

Mostly I've been orienteering and bicycling to and from work. It takes me 45 minutes to bike to work (about 10 miles) and 55 minutes to bike home. Why the extra 10 minutes? well for one thing I'm tired after work, and for another it's more uphill. Biking to work is grinding to a halt for the summer though. 2 weeks ago I discovered that it was getting too dark to bike home from the evening shift (at 10 pm). On sunday I found that though the sun was only just setting as I was leaving for the night shift, it was quite dark by the time I arrived. I will maybe give biking one more try next wednesday when I have an 11 am to 7 pm shift, providing it's not raining, and that will be the end. The orienteering season goes on until the end of september. After that my source of cardio will be "spinning" at the gym, pluss maybe dancing (husband has suggested we could maybe start swingdancing again), and skiing, when the snow comes.

According to husband it is important to train toward a goal (personally I tend more toward focus on the process rather than goal orientation, but I think finding a balance is important). We have talked about visiting Machu Pichu in Peru for our 10th aniversary next year, and while researching it, I discovered that one can do a 4 day hike along the inca trail to Machu Pichu! In my current shape it is unlikely that I would be able to enjoy a 4 day hike at high altitudes: so this is the goal for this winters training: to hike the Inca trail to Maccu Piccu!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Internet troubles

While we were on vacation lightning hit and killed the internet modem as well as the telephone adapter. We ordered a new modem, and a week later it arrived. However after hooking it up we still had internet problems. For weeks our internet was erratic, falling in and out every minute or so and making it impossible to use the phone or skype. We complained to our provider and for a couple of weeks they did nothing. When I started threatening to withhold payment they sent around a repairman to check out the line. Still no improvement as yet another weekend passed. At this point I was calling them every day. The repairman came back, and was able to determine that it was not the line and so had to be the modem, convincing them to send us a new one (finally!). Lo and behold, when we hooked up the replacement modem a week later the net worked perfectly. So now we are finally back on line. I can call my mother (and any one else) again, and pick up my italian studies.


Yes, I have started an online Italian course from the BBC. I was able to sort-of do it while the internet was bad as well, but each page took forever to load so I didn't make much headway - then I'd start solving griddlers while waiting for the page to load and forget all about it... Anyway, now I am studying quite consciensciously. Question is will I actually remember how to say anything when placed in a real live situation in Italy?


Yes, we are going to Italy. That is why I am learning Italian. That week in the mountains and the second week orienteering were just half my vacation. The second half is scheduled for september when we are meeting Mother, Roland and Sharon at the Garda Lake, where we have rented an appartment in Malcesine for a week. Before meeting up in Verona, Husband and I are spending a few days in Venice...



Family News:

Tante Christina spent a weekend with us. We went on walks in the forest and watched the DVDs of her 80th birthday party, and her final Eurythmy performance. I realize I have never seen her do eurythmy before and she is REALY GOOD!! Interesting to see what Jan Benedikt and Åsmund look like on the birthday DVD. Oddly enough, I see a similarity between Jan Benedikt and Adam Helge! Åsmund is the spitting image of Onkel Harald!

Audun is back from Australia. He's staying with us while appartment hunting in Lillehammer. Starting work already on monday at his old market research job there.

Haven't heard from Tormod in a while (due to the above-mentioned phone problems).

Irene is having fun on her interrail trip according to occasional sms' and facebook updates. 

Got to spend some time with Ingvild this weekend. It's been a long time since we hung out together.

Next week my stepdaughter is getting married.


Anesthesia:

I didn't get the anesthesia job here at the hospital in Hamar. I find it hard to understand why. Sure, they could get people with more experience, this was a temporary position. Couldn't they have given me the chance to get the experience I so badly need. I have saved the hospital the cost of a stipend by paying my own way through the course, pluss I am familiar with the rutines of our hospital and the OR from my months of practice nursing. A nagging feeling at the back of my mind wonders if its personal - if they don't like me, or if they for some reason think I'm not good enough.  I try to tell myself that I like ER work (I do), and that I can use my competency in the ER (I can). However I feel a pressing need to practice actually anesthetizing people for a while, in order to get confident and increase my expertise.

Unfortunatly there are practically no jobs to be had. I have registered with Manpower and Addecco pluss a couple of other temp agencys as well as applied to a private hospital in Oslo that are looking for a nurse anesthetist. Unfortunatly unemployed nurse anesthetists are a dime a dozen in Oslo, and temp agencys want folks with experiece so my chances are like zero. Can't hurt to apply though I figure. My proffessional self confidence is being put to a sever test by all this. Sometimes I wonder if those 18 months of training were all a waste of time, money and energy. Thank goodness for the extremely nice swedish travellers with whom I am working a lot during these vacation weeks. Most of them are also nurse anesthetists. They are so supportive and encouraging. One of them suggested I start calling around to all the hospitals in Norway. Seems crazy, but maybe I should.

The Garden

The garden is looking good. Strawberries are almost done. Rasberries are in full fruit. The cherries (there were 3 or 4 - I planted the tree last year - are ripening). Black and red currents and gooseberries will be ready very soon. There are a number of green plums on one of the trees, but no apples. Why not? I have given Husband the task of figuring it out and making those trees produce. The sugar peas were dissapointing. I only picked about 3 times and they already seem to be done. The carrots and onions are looking good (but too early to harvest). What we are getting right now is lettuce, radishes, turnips and cucumbers (from the window sill). The first zucchini should be ready soon as well. The Kale and Broccoli look terrible. All full of holes. Someone told me about a kind of broccoli that gets little thin heads but gets them constantly? Hope I can get some seeds next year for those.