As I mentioned last week I am currently on sick leave due to stress and burnout. But just sitting at home waiting for time to take it's course doesn't seem enough for me. I want to be proactive in managing my stress levels.
In "The 7 Habits of Highly Developed People" Stephen Covey says: "It is the ability for self awareness, by reflecting on his thought processes, emotions and motivations that sets the human being apart from other animals."
At first glance my actions, feelings, thoughts and life situation seem to be determined by outside forces such as my genetic makeup (though it turns out you actually have a lot of control over how your genetic makeup affects your life), childhood experiences, spouse, job, financial situation, health, age, gender, weather, society I live in etc. But are these truly DETERMINING forces, or are they rather INFLUENCES which I can transcend to create my own reality?
Basically, if it belongs to the past, it may be something that concerns me, but it is out of my sphere of influence, i.e. there's nothing I can do about it. The only place where I have influence is in the present.
While I am free to choose my action, I am not free to choose the consequences of my action. The consequences are outside my sphere of influence. I woke up one morning recently with an intense feeling of regret. Regret for actions in my childhood and youth that my conscience condemns. Maybe I had dreamed of them. And though I try in my present life to make amends, by living according to principles in which such actions can have no part, it feels like nothing can truly undo the past. It is sometimes hard to believe that I am the same individual who did these things, yet when I think of them, I fear that I must be deeply flawed as a human being. Never the less, I need to realize that I can't recall them, I can't undo them, and I can't change the effect (consequences) they have had on my character. The proactive approach to a (past) mistake is to acknowledge it, correct it and learn from it. Not to admit and correct a mistake leads to self-justification, self-deception and rationalization - lying to myself as well as others.
Between what happens to me, what will happen, what has ever happened, as well as what I have caused to happen in the past - and how I react to these lie four specifically human endowments:
"BY YOUR CHOICE YOU SHALL BE KNOWN".
Proactivity means that I am responsible for my own life.
My behavior is the function of my DECISIONS, not my conditions.
Respons-ability = the ability to choose my response.
When my actions are determined by my (hormone-induced) moods, by the weather, by the way people treat me (husband, neighbors, children, patients, co-workers,etc), I am re-active. When I am pro-active, though I can still be influenced by my environment, my response will be based on values - carefully thought about, consciously selected and internalized. Taking the initiative means to make good things happen, to do whatever is necessary, consistent with correct principles.
For example I feel that I need more time at home, in order to be able to function at work. This may lead to reducing my hours. This again could lead to a changed financial situation, especially if the reduced hours were to become permanent. Are correct principles guiding my actions here? I believe (hope) that my actions are guided by conscientiousness toward my employer in that I am withdrawing, temporarily from a work situation which I no longer master; as well as responsibility to my self for my own health and well-being by taking this time to focus on finding out what is going on in my life that has lead me to this experience of burnout.
A lot of what's happening to me - hot flashes, tiredness, lack of concentration, lack of joy, emotional roller-coaster - is probably related to menopause. My response to the present difficult situation is to research lifestyle modifications to ease the symptoms of menopause. But let one thing be clear: I WILL NOT TAKE HRT!
What I came up with was getting enough sleep, getting enough sunshine, enough exercise, drinking enough water, including phytoestrogens from flaxseed, soy and other pulses in my diet, weight control, and stress management (more on this later)
I AM THE SOURCE OF MY OWN REALITY!
I am responsible for my own effectiveness, my own happiness, and most of my circumstances:
In "The 7 Habits of Highly Developed People" Stephen Covey says: "It is the ability for self awareness, by reflecting on his thought processes, emotions and motivations that sets the human being apart from other animals."
At first glance my actions, feelings, thoughts and life situation seem to be determined by outside forces such as my genetic makeup (though it turns out you actually have a lot of control over how your genetic makeup affects your life), childhood experiences, spouse, job, financial situation, health, age, gender, weather, society I live in etc. But are these truly DETERMINING forces, or are they rather INFLUENCES which I can transcend to create my own reality?
Basically, if it belongs to the past, it may be something that concerns me, but it is out of my sphere of influence, i.e. there's nothing I can do about it. The only place where I have influence is in the present.
While I am free to choose my action, I am not free to choose the consequences of my action. The consequences are outside my sphere of influence. I woke up one morning recently with an intense feeling of regret. Regret for actions in my childhood and youth that my conscience condemns. Maybe I had dreamed of them. And though I try in my present life to make amends, by living according to principles in which such actions can have no part, it feels like nothing can truly undo the past. It is sometimes hard to believe that I am the same individual who did these things, yet when I think of them, I fear that I must be deeply flawed as a human being. Never the less, I need to realize that I can't recall them, I can't undo them, and I can't change the effect (consequences) they have had on my character. The proactive approach to a (past) mistake is to acknowledge it, correct it and learn from it. Not to admit and correct a mistake leads to self-justification, self-deception and rationalization - lying to myself as well as others.
Between what happens to me, what will happen, what has ever happened, as well as what I have caused to happen in the past - and how I react to these lie four specifically human endowments:
- Self awareness (O Man, know thou thyself!): the ability to observe my thought processes and emotional reactions.
- Imagination: the ability to imagine the suffering (and pleasure) of others, as well as the ability to imagine a goal or a desired outcome.
- Conscience or integrity
- The ability to choose my response.
"BY YOUR CHOICE YOU SHALL BE KNOWN".
Proactivity means that I am responsible for my own life.
My behavior is the function of my DECISIONS, not my conditions.
Respons-ability = the ability to choose my response.
When my actions are determined by my (hormone-induced) moods, by the weather, by the way people treat me (husband, neighbors, children, patients, co-workers,etc), I am re-active. When I am pro-active, though I can still be influenced by my environment, my response will be based on values - carefully thought about, consciously selected and internalized. Taking the initiative means to make good things happen, to do whatever is necessary, consistent with correct principles.
For example I feel that I need more time at home, in order to be able to function at work. This may lead to reducing my hours. This again could lead to a changed financial situation, especially if the reduced hours were to become permanent. Are correct principles guiding my actions here? I believe (hope) that my actions are guided by conscientiousness toward my employer in that I am withdrawing, temporarily from a work situation which I no longer master; as well as responsibility to my self for my own health and well-being by taking this time to focus on finding out what is going on in my life that has lead me to this experience of burnout.
On the other hand, I feel vaguely selfish, perhaps lazy, for taking sick leave. My symptoms are so vague, so diffuse, I only know that I couldn't face any more patients, and I hated feeling that I wasn't up to the quality of work that I am getting paid for and expect of myself. Still I worry that I may be just making excuses for myself to justify 3 weeks extra paid "vacation".
There seem to be three central areas of proactivity:
There seem to be three central areas of proactivity:
- what happens to me
- what I create
- how I respond to difficult circumstances.
A lot of what's happening to me - hot flashes, tiredness, lack of concentration, lack of joy, emotional roller-coaster - is probably related to menopause. My response to the present difficult situation is to research lifestyle modifications to ease the symptoms of menopause. But let one thing be clear: I WILL NOT TAKE HRT!
What I came up with was getting enough sleep, getting enough sunshine, enough exercise, drinking enough water, including phytoestrogens from flaxseed, soy and other pulses in my diet, weight control, and stress management (more on this later)
I AM THE SOURCE OF MY OWN REALITY!
I am responsible for my own effectiveness, my own happiness, and most of my circumstances:
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