I've been following a blog that has been running a series on doing less. I always have a to do list that is much longer than is realistic to fit into the day. The idea of having "nothing to do" stresses me beyond belief, as does the thought of all the things I want to do but can't get to. :P
I KNOW that I need to practice stillness and listening. This blog even has some practical tips which I intend to try out. Such as drinking my tea while staring out the window. This is not one of the tips from the blog, but lately when I walk the dog, I find myself succumbing to the urge to just lie down in the moss, or sit with my back against a tree and stare at the sky...
Another suggestion is sitting with uncomfortable feelings. My sister is very very sick and she is in a time zone 9 hours different from mine. This situation is overwhelming and frustrating and brings up all kinds of uncomfortable feelings: feelings of (anticipated) loss, irrasjonal feelings of rejection, envy and jealousy of the people who get to spend time with my sister everyday. Feelings it is not easy to live with, even to admit to having. Dealing with uncomfortable feelings reminds me being pregnant and nursing. Even though I didn't seem to be doing anything, the state itself demanded a lot of my energy and I needed more sleep and had less energy. That is how grieving, dreading, worrying and reaching out but not being able to connect is affecting me. It takes an awful lot of energy.
And one of the things I have been inspired to do because of this "do less" blog series is to cut back on the amount of stuff I am trying to fit into my day, which included a number of spiritual practices. I have cut back to 2 practices: a daily yoga practice and a chakra cleanse meditation - but am doing these religiously. Other than that I am trying to cut myself some slack and not demand so incredibly much of myself. I have stopped taking on extra shifts, and I need to give myself permission to sleep more, and even to escape into the world of books and movies/tv-series and mindless puzzles now and then without beating myself up about it.
I don't know about sitting with uncomfortable feelings. I think it is necesary to acknowledge them, and maybe tapp on them. But what I really want to do is focus on the unconditional love that I also have for my sister, on the happy memories thoughout the years, the desire to comfort and support her in what is most important to her. And that seems to be her teaching and her music. This may seem a strange way to do it, but my sister is a gifted educator and enthusiastic musician and so I have been listening to and singing along to "The Sound of Music" and "Mary Poppins", as a way to connect with her, when the 9 hour time difference and our respective proffessional commitments make it impossible to connect in person.
I KNOW that I need to practice stillness and listening. This blog even has some practical tips which I intend to try out. Such as drinking my tea while staring out the window. This is not one of the tips from the blog, but lately when I walk the dog, I find myself succumbing to the urge to just lie down in the moss, or sit with my back against a tree and stare at the sky...
Another suggestion is sitting with uncomfortable feelings. My sister is very very sick and she is in a time zone 9 hours different from mine. This situation is overwhelming and frustrating and brings up all kinds of uncomfortable feelings: feelings of (anticipated) loss, irrasjonal feelings of rejection, envy and jealousy of the people who get to spend time with my sister everyday. Feelings it is not easy to live with, even to admit to having. Dealing with uncomfortable feelings reminds me being pregnant and nursing. Even though I didn't seem to be doing anything, the state itself demanded a lot of my energy and I needed more sleep and had less energy. That is how grieving, dreading, worrying and reaching out but not being able to connect is affecting me. It takes an awful lot of energy.
And one of the things I have been inspired to do because of this "do less" blog series is to cut back on the amount of stuff I am trying to fit into my day, which included a number of spiritual practices. I have cut back to 2 practices: a daily yoga practice and a chakra cleanse meditation - but am doing these religiously. Other than that I am trying to cut myself some slack and not demand so incredibly much of myself. I have stopped taking on extra shifts, and I need to give myself permission to sleep more, and even to escape into the world of books and movies/tv-series and mindless puzzles now and then without beating myself up about it.
I don't know about sitting with uncomfortable feelings. I think it is necesary to acknowledge them, and maybe tapp on them. But what I really want to do is focus on the unconditional love that I also have for my sister, on the happy memories thoughout the years, the desire to comfort and support her in what is most important to her. And that seems to be her teaching and her music. This may seem a strange way to do it, but my sister is a gifted educator and enthusiastic musician and so I have been listening to and singing along to "The Sound of Music" and "Mary Poppins", as a way to connect with her, when the 9 hour time difference and our respective proffessional commitments make it impossible to connect in person.
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