The past few days I have experienced 3 things that make me feel good about myself:
1. I passed the 102 strip tele test. I also passed ADSL recertification.
2. A coworker said to me: "you are so fast! Three times in 2 nights when something is happening with one of the patients you right on the spot, asking what you can do to help!
3. Another coworker told me that a patient had told her that he liked me so much, and the care I gave.
There is hope for me yet!
For weeks my self confidence as a nurse has been at an all-time ebb. I ask myself - do I know enough to make the decisions that could affect my patients life and death, or seriously impact their quality of life? Do I have enough compassion? Am I a good co-worker or am I just a dead weight, barely able to take care of my own area of responsibility? The responsibility has been weighing on me. The stess has been overwhelming and as usual it affects my memory, my concentration and my outlook. I like to say that while some people, when they are stressed and overworked get migraines or ulcers, I get dementia. My mind feels like a sieve. I've been looking into how my healthstyle can improve my mental abilities and my tolerance for stress and frustration. Some things I have been trying are water aerobics, Tai Chi, fresh air and sunlight (I take a book to the swing bench on the park along the lake and read and swing while I soak up the sunshine), and abundant fruit and vegetables.
My brother, Adam, addressing the question of knowledge, told me how he went about learning his ship inside-out when he was in the navy. It inspired me to study even harder, and use some of his methods. The fact is, I love nursing. I love learning it and I love practicing it. I genuinely like the patients, and I love the experience of good teamwork. I just don't love the grunge and the dust invading my house as my work takes over my private life as well as my work life, I don't like never having time for my 15-year old daughter, Ingvild, or time to write to friends.
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