Father has died

On friday evening at 7:30 my father passed away. Both my brothers were with him during his last days. He died at home which is what he wanted. When I said Goodbye on Sunday it would be the last time I saw my father alive.
I think he had a beautifull death, all things considered. Many things happened during the last week of his life to facilitate his crossing over. On Monday a priest from the Christian Community came to give him communion and the last annointing. On tuesday the monks from the tibetan buddhist monastery in Ithaca came to pray with Father, and on Thursday the Lutheran/Episcopalean church choir came to sing for him. Though he slept most of the time, we had the distinct impression that he participated inwardly in all of these events - in fact he even hummed along with the choir!
When my brother Adam called me on thursday evening to say that the end was near, it was too late to get a flight on friday. I was able to book a flight for Saturday morning and had just gotten up at 2 am to get ready to go to the airport when Adam called again to say that Father had just died. I wish I could have been there for his passing, but even if I had been able to leave on friday morning, I still wouldn't have made it. The trip took 24 hrs.

When I arrived in Cortland, Tormod, was at the busstop to pick me up. It was so good to see him! Beren was also there. On the way out to the farm we had a distressing experience. Tormod was stopped by the police who had been following us for a little while. They took all our ID, and ran a check on it, asked if we had drugs or had been drinking, if we had knives or shotguns or anything in the car. Asked me who the boys were to me etc. We told them where we were going and why but they continued their questions and search. When they were satisfied and had returned our papers Tormod asked the officer for his name. The officer took back Tormod's licence and registration and left us sitting in the car for another 15 minutes. When he came back, he gave Tormod a ticket for having a dealer frame around his licence plate which he claimed was illegal in New York State, in spite of the fact that 8 out of 10 cars have them. So now Tormod has to show up in court on september 11, or pay a fine. I was shocked by this blatent abuse of power. Though I have heard of it, I have never before experienced harrassment at the hands of an officer of the law, and I found it deeply disturbing.

When we got to the farm everyone was there: Adam and Roland, Ilian, who had just arrived from California herself, and Joe, Mother, and the lady who had been present at Fathers death. I asked her to tell us about the moment of death. Mother and my brothers had gone to the theater (to see the Pirates of Penzanze, one of Father's favorite shows) and this family friend, Ann was sitting with Father while they were gone. Mother had said goodbye and even gotten a kiss from Father. Ann said that father was lying with half open eyes, breathing heavilly with that noise in his throat when phlegm gathers there. She had just moistened his mouth, when he opened his eyes wide though looking far away, and stopped breathing. When he started breathing again the quality of his breathing had changed. After she called my brother's cell phone, he stopped breathing again and she sat and held his hand. She could feel his puls gradually fade away. I was so gratefull that she could relate this experience in such detail and feel that she was truly privilaged to have been there.
Father is now lying on dry ice in a casket in the sun room. People can come and read to him or just sit with him. Mother is still sleeping in the next room as she did when he was on his death bed in there. It feels very right to be in the same house with him. Not wierd at all. In fact it would feel alot more wierd knowing his body was in a cooler somewhere.
We have been busy preparing for the funeral which will be on tuesday. Adam has returned home to fetch his family. Roland has made a web site with information: https://sites.google.com/site/lynwillwerth/

On the plane on my way over I read in a little book with quotes about death (by Rudolf Steiner).
He says that when somebody dies it is as thought they have traveled to a far away country to which we can only follow at a later time.
About the attitude with which we think of the dead he says that it is ok to be sad and heartbroken, but that if we wish for the person to come back we make it difficult for them to move on. It is more helpfull if we can accept that the spiritual world has called the person, because there are new taskes for him.